Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Recursion.
Recursion who?
Knock knock.
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't.
Algorithm: A word used by programmers when they don't want to explain how their code works.
Eight bytes walk into a bar.
The bartender asks, "Can I get you anything?"
"Yeah," reply the bytes.
"Make us a double."
I have a joke about trickle down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.
If you're here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly queue.
Oysters hate to give away their pearls because they are shellfish.
Four engineers get into a car. The car won't start.
The Mechanical engineer says "It's a broken starter".
The Electrical engineer says "Dead battery".
The Chemical engineer says "Impurities in the gasoline".
The IT engineer says "Hey guys, I have an idea: How about we all get out of the car and get back in".
Judge: "I sentence you to the maximum punishment..."
Me (thinking): "Please be death, please be death..."
Judge: "Learn Java!"
Me: "Damn."
Have a great weekend!
I hope your code behaves the same on Monday as it did on Friday.
A guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers.
The bartender says "I'll have to charge you extra, that's a root beer float".
The guy says "In that case, better make it a double."
I have these weird muscle spasms in my gluteus maximus.
I figured out from my doctor that everything was alright:
He said "Weird flex, butt okay."
Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack.