I have a joke about trickle down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you're also the murderer at the same time.
Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
The six stages of debugging:
1. That can't happen.
2. That doesn't happen on my machine.
3. That shouldn't happen.
4. Why does that happen?
5. Oh, I see.
6. How did that ever work?
Java and C were telling jokes. It was C's turn, so he writes something on the wall, points to it and says "Do you get the reference?" But Java didn't.
My husband and I were happy for 20 years. And then we met.
The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, but then it struck me.
A guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers.
The bartender says "I'll have to charge you extra, that's a root beer float".
The guy says "In that case, better make it a double."
A perfectionist walked into a bar... apparently, the bar was not set high enough.
Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"