WOAH! My fellow Wasteofers, this is a complete and blatant lie from the KyleTech administration! I would never pay Toaks to kill President Kiwi! After all, Kiwi was the lead ideacomeupper for Glaze and the founder of arguably the only religion, Kiwiism.
I am severely sorry to hear about the tragic and unfortunate death of our late great president. As the head of commerce, I will write up a bill that requires you to pay 99.95% sales tax on all non-breakfast food items, all of which will be forwarded to whatever branch of government handles the creation and distribution of waffles.
Okay guys, I know it’s probably not a good idea, but I have a theory…
@Owl PAID @Toaks to kill @Kiwi.
Now, it might sound crazy, but before Kiwi died, he put me in charge of the Department of Education, which means I’m smart and everything I say is right.
Why would Owl want to do such a thing? Well, there’s many good reasons, and I have the receipts to back it up.
This may not be a well-known fact, but Owl attempted to coerce me into killing the new interim president, @Late. Additionally, Owl quite literally ranted on the Wasted Onion about how she wants to bring the collapse of the government, and what better way to bring chaos and possible collapse of the government than by killing Late or Kiwi?
And you might say that Toaks couldn’t’ve KNOWN he was going to crash, and possibly kill president Kiwi, but I’d disagree. Toaks is clearly somewhat intelligent, as he is extremely skilled at 3D Modeling and Animations, and as such there is no way he would’ve not been able to successfully perform the barrel roll, and pushing someone off of a cliff accidentally? No way buckaroo. That’s like being caught masturbating and saying your penis just MAGICALLY got into your hands. As such, it appears MORE than likely that Owl and Toaks both orchestrated the MURDER of my beloved Kiwi, and as such, I believe that they should be put down for capital punishment.
I also believe that Owl may secretly be @ikilledtallpeter420, as killing a large user on the website may be another way for her to attempt to cause chaos, as I don’t believe their excuse on how they committed the murder without an account, and Gainof and Glazed sound suspiciously similar, and may be a codeword for one another.
In conclusion, I believe that due to these odd coincidences and suspicious circumstances, it is more than evident that Owl and Toaks orchestrated and carried out the murder of former President Kiwi.
Sincerely,
Thratwitch
Head Of Late’s Education Department
(evidences will be commented below this post)