v1 — 7/2/2025, 10:22:49 PM

It's a shame I won't win, but thanks for spreading awareness. Even parody news can cover me better than wasteof news. ♥️

↩ repost
wastedonion — 7/2/2025, 7:48:29 PM

Daily Election Update: As the campaign goes on, candidates have begun using memes to convince citizens to vote for them, causing critical mass cringe events.

Updates from the campaign trail:

  • Posting to wasteof, Oren thanked the North Korean city Pyongyang for “supporting the best candidate! Long live Kim Jong Un!”

  • Kiwi was also actively posting on wasteof, saying “i don’t condone voting with alts, but i do condone voting for #kiwilate2025 with alts no one knows about!”

  • The-Owlsss announced various anti-KyleTech measures, such as buggy Wix features, to prevent similar incident’s like yesterday, where Mr. Tech rushed Owlsss’s stage at a rally.

  • TallPeter apologised today for misleading the public regarding how tall he was, we’ve yet to hear an apology from him after trying to do our job for us by posting a satire news graphic.

  • Elsie danced to Saturn by SZA for an entire 1 hour interview with lesser news outlet BBC, leaving the journalist sobbing in the corner of the room.

  • V1 has once again been mentioned in The Only News Source, proving their campaign isn’t being censored, you’re welcome again.

  • Pufferfish101007 has lost significant backing after saying they like light mode.

  • SixFourLu has dropped out of the race after missing a Spanish lesson with their running mate Duolingo, causing SixFourLu to vanish without a trace.

  • In a turn of good fortune, WannaBeRose didn’t insult us today. The snipers have been told to hold their fire.

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