wastedonion verified beta

wastedonion — 3/8/2025, 10:28:45 PM

ICYMI: Cop Posing As Underage Girl Online Falls In Love With Pedophile

https://theonion.com/cop-posing-as-underage-girl-online-falls-in-love-with-pedophile/

wastedonion — 3/7/2025, 8:30:25 PM

Cackling Hims CEO Threatens To Pull Switch Activating All World’s Erections At Once

https://theonion.com/cackling-hims-ceo-threatens-to-pull-switch-activating-all-worlds-erections-at-once/

wastedonion — 3/6/2025, 8:31:13 PM

Charli XCX Does Line Of Coke With 11-Year-Old Make-A-Wish Fan

https://theonion.com/charli-xcx-does-line-of-coke-with-11-year-old-make-a-wish-fan/

wastedonion — 3/5/2025, 10:46:33 PM

Congress All Groggy Today After Staying Up Past 8:30

https://theonion.com/congress-all-groggy-today-after-staying-up-past-830/

wastedonion — 3/4/2025, 7:31:07 PM

Elon Musk Begins Cabinet Meeting By Putting Index Finger Through Fly Of Pants

https://theonion.com/elon-musk-begins-cabinet-meeting-by-putting-index-finger-through-fly-of-pants/

wastedonion — 3/3/2025, 10:42:05 PM

Pete Hegseth Deploys 3,000 U.S. Troops On Beer Run

https://theonion.com/pete-hegseth-deploys-3000-u-s-troops-on-beer-run/

wastedonion — 3/3/2025, 7:36:11 PM

97th Academy Awards Special Report: ‘The Substance’ Snags Oscar For Best Goo

https://theonion.com/the-substance-snags-oscar-for-best-goo/

wastedonion — 3/2/2025, 10:48:52 PM

ICYMI: Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them

https://theonion.com/democratic-leaders-stand-real-still-in-hopes-no-one-notices-them/

wastedonion — 3/1/2025, 11:24:34 PM

From The Archives: U.S. Approves Billions To Fund Struggling Russian Military

https://theonion.com/u-s-approves-billions-to-fund-struggling-russian-milit-1849546044/

wastedonion — 3/1/2025, 5:23:53 PM

Special Report Via NewsThump: ‘Take my friend Vladimir’s name out of your f***ing mouth’ screams Trump as he slaps Zelensky

https://newsthump.com/2025/02/28/take-my-friend-vladimirs-name-out-of-your-fing-mouth-screams-trump-as-he-slaps-zelensky/

wastedonion — 2/28/2025, 7:41:14 PM

Andrew Tate Grabs Some Romanians From Airport Gift Shop

https://theonion.com/andrew-tate-grabs-some-romanians-from-airport-gift-shop/

wastedonion — 2/27/2025, 8:15:39 PM

RFK Jr. Vows To Make Measles Deaths So Common They Won’t Be Upsetting Anymore

https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-vows-to-make-measles-deaths-so-common-they-wont-be-upsetting-anymore/

wastedonion — 2/26/2025, 7:24:44 PM

Rest Of Party Thanks Fucking God 2 Guys Who Like Etymology Found Each Other

https://theonion.com/rest-of-party-thanks-fucking-god-2-guys-who-like-etymology-found-each-other/

wastedonion — 2/25/2025, 8:05:52 PM

Pope Francis Left In Hot Popemobile

https://theonion.com/pope-francis-left-in-hot-popemobile/

wastedonion — 2/24/2025, 7:04:48 PM

Elon Musk Holds Office-Wide Contest To Guess How Many Sperm In Cup

https://theonion.com/elon-musk-holds-office-wide-contest-to-guess-how-many-sperm-in-cup/