“Nintendo Suing Entire Planet For Having People Named Mario”
“‘Our Tech Makes Killing Children Feel More Like A Game’ Says Arms Manufacturer CEO”
“BREAKING: Cuomo has fled the NYC mainland following its fall to socialist Zohran Mamdani. Sources say he will establish a new govt on Staten Island with the goal of eventually reclaiming the entire city. Mamdani has promised to purge all remaining Cuomintang on the mainland.”
What a wonderfully long headline we’ll have to edit down so our readers heads don’t explode.
“Special Report: Poll Shows That 37% Of Americans Still Think Obama Is Causing All Their Problems”
“before conviction, ikilledtallpeter420 reportedly hoped to build more time machines, kill tallpeter 419 more times”
“New York Mayoral Election Rules Changed To Require At Least 3 Wasteof Posts Within Last Year To Vote”
“David Zaslav Gleefully Departs Warner Bros. Lot For Last Time After Some Kiwi Guy Pays Him Skittles for Studio”
“‘The Wasteof.money Movie’ Is Planned First Installment In Obscure Social Media Platform Cinematic Universe; Untitled Blaze Direct-to-Streaming Series In Development”
We’re almost impressed that you wrote a comment more muddled than the average Donald Trump Truth Social post.
“Special Report: Man Confused Whether It 2030 After COP30”
Cops? 30 of them? Run!