kiwi beta

male, teenager

wall

posts

kiwi — 10/19/2025, 12:25:28 AM

president’s log of australia: day 20/30

“it’s the final countdown! just like they always sung about!”

- soos from gravity falls

now a word of advice for pizza consumers looking to visit this country, from my previous years of experience - don’t bother with australian domino’s. like, at all

i don’t know how exactly their formula is different from the american version, but it tastes so mediocre by comparison. iirc they don’t even use the updated crust formula from 2009 that added that parmesan cheese butter stuff, which is like the best part of their pizza

so yesterday i decided to try australian pizza hut, which it turns out is a thing that exists

and it was… surprisingly good! probably not as good as american pizza hut or american domino’s, but it was absolutely ahead of whatever australian domino’s is doing.

so yeah, if you ever want pizza from a non-existent country that isn’t known for pizza, they’re my recommendation

♥ 4 ↩ 0 💬 1 comment
kiwi — 10/19/2025, 12:08:43 AM

president’s log of australia: day 19/30 (repost; i wrote this yesterday and shared it to the wom discord when the site was down)

guess i’ll be putting these here until wasteof comes back

anyway i bought and assembled the luxo jr lego set yesterday, was really fun to build and the finished result looks nice

♥ 2 ↩ 0 💬 0 comments
kiwi — 10/17/2025, 2:02:34 AM

By the power vested in me as President of wasteof.money, I hereby enact the All Politicians Smell Bad Act, protecting citizens’ right to comment on the fragrance of money wasting officials. Yes, that includes me. If you feel the head of the country hasn’t showered in two years, make your voice heard! Shout in the streets and feel comfortable not getting made fun of for your opinions even if they’re completely wrong!

I have spoken.

- President @kiwi

↩ repost
ilovetimhortons — 10/17/2025, 1:45:22 AM

GUYS MY LAST POST I SAID JEFFALO IS STINKY AND HE EDITED IT☹️HE ALSO KEEPS BANNING ME. this is NOT a democracy we can’t criticize our king! we need to take action

♥ 12 ↩ 1 💬 0 comments
♥ 4 ↩ 0 💬 1 comment
kiwi — 10/16/2025, 9:12:58 PM

roblox mascot horror developers on their way to design the cutest characters humanly imaginable just so they can make slop out of it:

♥ 3 ↩ 0 💬 0 comments
kiwi — 10/16/2025, 8:39:55 PM

president’s log of australia: day 18/30

♥ 11 ↩ 0 💬 0 comments
kiwi — 10/16/2025, 11:56:12 AM

sometimes i kinda forget that elon musk even renamed twitter in the first place

like the old name has so much staying power that wikipedia still uses the old name for its article’s title just because that’s almost universally accepted as the more recognizable name, i don’t think i’ve seen something like that happen before (at least not for going on three years now)

♥ 11 ↩ 0 💬 4 comments
kiwi — 10/16/2025, 9:04:21 AM
↩ repost
president — 10/16/2025, 8:47:16 AM

SPECIAL REPORT FROM THE CRACK HOUSE

You may recall that when I was elected president, I was committed to implementing roughly 28 presidential promises over the course of my administration. Unlike some real politicians, I’m a man of my word, so here we go:

  1. The KiwiLate Food Department has installed extremely nutritious parmesean cheese generators, which will not only power factories, but also feed the hungry. Feel free to sprinkle some over your free waffles, I won’t judge. I mean, I will, but you won’t hear me judging you.

  2. After selling 1 cent KiwiLate-branded waffles, all the proceeds have gone to the KiwiLate Think Tank, where a bunch of people sit around a table and decide the most effective ways to waste money. So we blew all the proceeds on ingredients to make more 1 cent KiwiLate-branded waffles. Revolutionary!

  3. A few months ago, @9999 requested that every single wasteof user receive two “dollar.jpeg” images to do whatever you please with. To receive your two dollar.jpeg images, please ask in this post’s comment section and you shall receive.

  4. You can like posts by tapping the little heart button below, but not everyone has those - like lawyers and business executives, for example. So consider this our official petition: @jeffalo can u pls change the heart to a 🦞 and also can it be a 🧇 on thursdays ok thx bye

It looks like the dreaded character count has struck again. Maybe by our next post, Late will have drawn that worm with sunglasses playing the saxophone. Til next time!

♥ 6 ↩ 1 💬 2 comments
♥ 2 ↩ 0 💬 0 comments
kiwi — 10/16/2025, 1:58:22 AM
↩ repost
president — 10/16/2025, 1:52:43 AM

Releasing The TallPeter Files - Phase 1

You may recall that a little while ago, I asked you, the people of wasteof, if I should release these files apparently addressed to TallPeter that I found under my desk. I gave the citizens the option to either release the files in the interest of transparency, or to burn them and then go after whoever wrote them.

The people have spoken, and it appears that the former is the preferred option. So, at long last, here is the cover of the TallPeter Files.

Unfortunately, whoever wrote them used some kind of irreversible censoring technique. The KiwiLate Military is in the process of decrypting the purged text - we’ll get back to you on that soon.

Phase 1 appears to be some kind of shopping list for various items, with varying levels of legality.

Now do not be deceived - we are not releasing these files to defame TallPeter. In fact, quite the opposite - we believe these files were written by an unrelated third party to frame him for being tall - which he was, so what was the point? We also believe this author is connected to TallPeter’s murderer. Releasing these files is an act of revenge on our part.

That is the entirety of Phase 1, unfortunately. The good news is, there’s more phases to come, so tracking down who shot TallPeter is not a cold case just yet. We’ll be sharing more info in the coming days - as soon as we figure out how to decipher whatever cryptic language Phase 2 was written in.

♥ 9 ↩ 1 💬 0 comments
♥ 1 ↩ 0 💬 0 comments
kiwi — 10/16/2025, 12:25:31 AM

president’s log of australia: day 17

starting to run out of things to say so i might just start sharing random unrelated images i had saved on my phone

♥ 7 ↩ 0 💬 0 comments
kiwi — 10/14/2025, 9:54:41 PM

president’s log of australia: day 16

i keep buying vinyl records online for me to unbox when i get home oops

was considering buying a turntable here, but bringing it home/dealing with the voltage being different would have been unnecessarily complicated

♥ 5 ↩ 0 💬 5 comments
kiwi — 10/14/2025, 8:46:09 AM

president’s log of australia: day 15

don’t think that carrot big because carrot big leaf because small leaf carrot big not leaf big size

♥ 7 ↩ 0 💬 5 comments
kiwi — 10/14/2025, 1:56:11 AM

can’t wait for hollywood to take all the wrong notes from kpop demon hunters and make ripoffs with names like “edm ghost killers” and “soul spirit slashers” and “soft rock succubus pursuers”

♥ 4 ↩ 1 💬 2 comments
kiwi — 10/13/2025, 12:52:05 PM

fun fact: me and @leaks first met on a dark and stormy night on january 7, 1977, when i went to a local pizza place and asked for a refill on my soda

the pizza guy said they were all out of soda, then leaks showed up and said “Can confirm they are not out of soda”, and we’ve been best friends ever since

source: trust me bro

♥ 10 ↩ 0 💬 2 comments
kiwi — 10/13/2025, 7:26:09 AM

president’s log of australia: day 14

♥ 12 ↩ 0 💬 0 comments
kiwi — 10/12/2025, 8:35:08 AM

president’s log of australia: day 13

went to the zoo the other day

they said there would be penguins, but unfortunately there were no penguins

there were some monkeys though, they were pretty cool

♥ 7 ↩ 0 💬 4 comments