My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
I have a joke about Stack Overflow, but you would say it's a duplicate.
If you're here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly queue.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
[very long pause]
"Java."
Judge: "I sentence you to the maximum punishment..."
Me (thinking): "Please be death, please be death..."
Judge: "Learn Java!"
Me: "Damn."
Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Oysters hate to give away their pearls because they are shellfish.
If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashed ... Oh wait, he does.
A guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers.
The bartender says "I'll have to charge you extra, that's a root beer float".
The guy says "In that case, better make it a double."
ASCII silly question, get a silly ANSI.
I have a joke about Stack Overflow, but you would say it's a duplicate.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.