I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, but then it struck me.
A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.
A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.
I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, but then it struck me.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
[very long pause]
"Java."
A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.
A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.
Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.
Eight bytes walk into a bar.
The bartender asks, "Can I get you anything?"
"Yeah," reply the bytes.
"Make us a double."
If you're here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly queue.
Judge: "I sentence you to the maximum punishment..."
Me (thinking): "Please be death, please be death..."
Judge: "Learn Java!"
Me: "Damn."
Algorithm: A word used by programmers when they don't want to explain how their code works.
Two C strings walk into a bar.
The bartender asks "What can I get ya?"
The first string says "I'll have a gin and tonic."
The second string thinks for a minute, then says "I'll take a tequila sunriseJF()#$JF(#)$(@J#()$@#())!*FNIN!OBN134ufh1ui34hf9813f8h8384h981h3984h5F!##@"
The first string apologizes, "You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated."
Four engineers get into a car. The car won't start.
The Mechanical engineer says "It's a broken starter".
The Electrical engineer says "Dead battery".
The Chemical engineer says "Impurities in the gasoline".
The IT engineer says "Hey guys, I have an idea: How about we all get out of the car and get back in".
Never date a baker. They're too kneady.
Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.
Two C strings walk into a bar.
The bartender asks "What can I get ya?"
The first string says "I'll have a gin and tonic."
The second string thinks for a minute, then says "I'll take a tequila sunriseJF()#$JF(#)$(@J#()$@#())!*FNIN!OBN134ufh1ui34hf9813f8h8384h981h3984h5F!##@"
The first string apologizes, "You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated."