Here is some unused headlines I wrote for The Wasted Onion, they either didn’t get written or posted for being not good enough, too niche, or things not panning out. Who knows, can always circle back to any of them perhaps if I feel like it.
Taylor Swift Awarded Nobel Peace Prize For Services To Capitalism
‘One Genocide At A Time Please’ Says UN While Condemning Sudan Mass Killings
Evil Jeffalo Just Normal Jeffalo If He Had Created Blaze Instead Of Wasteof
Trump Boys Delete Grindr From Fathers Phone
David Cameron Reveals He Had Medical Condition That Makes Victim Think Brexit Vote Is Good Idea
Reddit Moderator Erect After Banning User For Breaking Stupid Bullshit Rule
French Prime Minister Quits Due To Morning Croissant Not Being Flaky Enough
UK Equality And Human Rights Commission Renamed To Just Be Grateful You Haven't Been Lynched Yet Commission
U.S. Government Shutdown Affecting Congresses Ability To Fuck Over Working Class People
Police On Accidentally Shooting Civilians During Manchester Synagogue Attack: ‘So We Just Started Blasting’
U.S. Sues Australia For Copyright Infringement Following Bondi Beach Shooting
Trump Files Defamation Lawsuit Against The BBC For Not Making Him Look Badass Enough
1 and 7 are funny (as are all of them, but those ones especially)