The Department of Transportation has sent a rescue team to rescue any survivors. We’ll bring a coffin along. and a few extra helicopters. You never know what might happen with kiwi. hopefully we’ll rescue @toaks and @adventuremase. More updates soon.
- Wasteof Department of Transportation
PRESIDENT KIWI “WHOOPSIES” OFF SHEER CLIFF FACE AND DIES
Early today, we received a second radio message from the survivors of the presidential plane crash. It contains grim news. According to the professional killer @adventuremase, our great president @kiwi “had a little whoopsie-daisy and just so happened to fall hundreds of feet down a cliff. We didn’t confirm he died but I mean c’mon.” Now, this reporter usually does not give opinions on matters such as these. However, I believe the implications of this are obvious: @toaks killed the president.
