I’ve seen a lot of people who have problems with anxiety or fear of what people think of them, and I struggle with that myself. In studying it I’ve learned that it is a super easy trap to fall into.
We often think worrying about other’s opinions means we care about their opinion too much. As if we are being too selfless, or caring about them too much. Fearing others actually means the opposite.
If you worry about someone’s opinion, it means you want them to accept you. You want them to like you. This means you think you deserve acceptance and being liked, and fear missing out on it.
This means that self-affirmation slogans (“I am worthy of love and respect.” was the first one I found on google ) actually make the problem worse. When you inflate your opinion of yourself, becoming the opposite of humble, it makes you worry about others more, not less.
Even worse, you are actually not caring about the other person, but just the acceptance they can give you. You want to use them, to act a certain way (put money in the vending machine), to get something from them, such as liking you or accepting you. This really hurts friendship because you are not there for them, just for yourself.
What do y’all think of this theory? I find it very convincing myself, let me know what you think. (I did not come up with this myself btw)