By The Wasted Onion: Google Pixel 10 Introduces Self Flipping Function To Show Ads When Put Screen-Side Down

BROOKLYN, NY—Unveiling its latest smartphone offering at its annual promotional event in its New York office, tech giant Google introduced a new feature for the Google Pixel 10 that allows the device to flip itself over if placed screen-side down to show adverts to users. “The all-new Google Pixel 10 is not just our most advanced phone yet, with the power of generative AI built from the ground up and woven into the very fabric of the device, but we’ve also innovated by giving the Pixel 10 some little booster jets that allow it to flip itself over if placed faced down so it can assault your senses with YouTube ads for whatever sex AI chatbot won our latest advertising bidding gauntlet,” said Senior Vice President of Devices & Services Rick Osterloh during the company’s Made by Google event. “This brings new, exciting opportunities for the Google Ads team, who will be able to rent out those ever shortening moments when you’re not looking at your phone to whatever random scammer who pays us enough money to show you ads on your screen and at full volume after it flips itself over using those sick as fuck little jets,” said Osterloh to the events host Jimmy Fallon, who softly pleaded that Google fulfil its promise not to release his search history as long as he hosts the product launch to their satisfaction. The tech giant eased the minds of consumers that the new ad and phone flipping feature was also powered by its Gemini AI, with it being able to determine how much power would be needed to flip the device over, choosing from “soft burst” up to “death laser.” At press time, Google confirmed in a blog post that the Pixel 10 would be capable of self-destructing if a user attempted to use ad-blocking technology on the device.

This stories headline was written and suggested by @gilbert189, thank you!