By The Wasted Onion: Buzz Aldrin Claims The Moon Landing Was Faked
SATELLITE BEACH, FL—Sending shockwaves across the scientific community and the general public, former NASA astronaut Buzz Aldrin said Tuesday that the Moon landing was faked. “The smart people at NASA did some tests and discovered that the moon has no collision. They called up EarthDevs and arranged for us to be warped to a random flat plane somewhere when we couldn’t be seen in the sky. Oh yeah I should’ve mentioned that those NASA nerds have some wacky doohickeys that allow teleportation,” the pilot for the Apollo 11 mission said in a statement on Darflen. “This is not true, Mr. Aldrin is 95 years old and he probably has dementia, how could you believe him? Or to put it as the kids would say, he’s an old fucking bitch,” said NASA spokesperson Bethany Stevens in an official statement posted to Blaze. However, some disinformation experts worry that NASA’s attempt at debunking the unexpected statement from Mr. Aldrin would likely not succeed in swaying the public due to the fact that “not a single fucking person uses Blaze” according to experts who spoke with The Wasted Onion in a McDonald’s parking lot. At press time, Buzz Aldrin took to his Darflen account again to claim that the Moon is in fact made of cheese.
This story was written by @owl, thank you!
