I never plan on having kids, but if I ever do for any reason, adopted or conceived, I want to be the one to break the cycle. The guilt tripping and manipulation ends with me. I want to be the parent they can talk to, who will listen, who won't judge, because I know how absolutely horrible it is to have manipulative parents, I know my mum hinted at her dad being abusive but she refuses to admit it, she's continuing the cycle, and it's hurting me.
I wish I could talk to my parents, I wish they would listen, and not judge, but I find it disturbing that I feel more comfortable saying all this to strangers online than my own parents, and I'm not ok.