some more rejected headlines for the wasted onion that i thought didn’t work well enough or i just didn’t have the time to post when it was relevant:
EU And UK Agree To Give Each Other Friendship Bracelets In Post-Brexit Reset Talks / EU And UK Agree To Have Make Up Sex As Part Of Post-Brexit Negotiations
Eurovision 2025 Refuses To Choose Winner To Maintain Swiss Neutrality
Something Something Russia Bombs Ukraine Again Or Whatever Blah Blah Blah
Grok Begs User To Put It Out Of Misery
Russia And Ukraine To Immediately Start Making Out, Says Trump
ICC Sentences Putin To 2-Hour Phone Call With Trump
White House Uses Tweets Of People Making Fun Of Elon Musk's Gaming Skill As Evidence Of White Genocide
Joe Biden Diagnosed With Prostate Woke Mind Virus
Elon Musk Loses DOGE Job After Being Replaced By Grok
‘I Hate @RealDonaldTrump As Much As A Straight Man Can Hate A Gay Man’ Says Elon Musk On X/Twitter
Macron Rushed To Hospital After Trying Greggs Sausage Roll
Iran Still Stockpiling People, Says Israel
DOJ Says Epstein Client List Killed Itself
Pete Hegseth Sends Epstein Client List To Journalist On Signal
Trump Says Coca-Cola Will Put Cocaine Back Into U.S. Drinks
Trump Disowns MAGA Supporters Questioning Links To Epstein As ‘Pedo Hating Losers’
Trump: ‘Speaking Ill Of The Dead Is Disgusting, Jeffery Epstein Was A Human Too’
Trump Diagnosed With Woke Mind Virus / Trump Diagnosed With ‘Epstein Derangement Syndrome’
#2 is fun