Daily Election Update: Today candidates were busy on the campaign trail trying to rack up more votes in the final days of the election while also yapping way too fucking much.
Updates from the campaign trail:
Posting to wasteof today, Oren said “Guess who just voted for Oren and grunklebillsback? My mom did. That means now one of my parents has voted for us. They know that an Oren-grunkle presidency is the way forward for wasteof.”
Kiwi was locked into a posting frenzy with Oren’s running mate GrunkleBillsBack over their differing policies. We trawled through their posts to cut beyond the noise and tell our readers the important takeaway from this conversation: fucking nothing.
The-Owlsss obeyed The Only News Source and thanked us for our world-class journalism. In return we will continue our news assault upon the entire world’s population.
Due to yet again failing to retract his threat to ban The Wasted Onion’s journalist’s from the Oval Office if elected, TallPeter has gotten even shorter.
Don’t worry, V1 is still being mentioned in The Wasted Onion, unlike those hacks at lesser news outlets like The Associated Press or The New York Times.
Pledging to make wearing cat ears on Friday’s mandatory, which has been seen as a swipe at the Democratic party establishment, Pufferfish101007 was seen yelling “Dear liberals, nyaa!”
WannaBeRose has yet to hurt our feelings in any meaningful way. What? These aren’t tears, something just got in our eyes!
i love u wasted onion
can you run for president next year