Daily Election Update: With the campaign trudging along, the citizens of wasteof are growing weak from all the memes, yearning for the sweet release of death.
Updates from the campaign trail:
At a morning rally today, Oren said “vote for Oren, the President that will serve you. That’s right, we’re going to serve you all lawsuits! Vote for legal obliteration!”
Kiwi posted a graphic parodying a classic Apple Macintosh advert on wasteof, replacing the text with the entire script for the 2017 film The Emoji Movie.
The-Owlsss also posted on wasteof, saying “fellas, would you like to have a president that sees a dollar amount and says ‘fuck it we ball’ no matter how many people suffer? if so, I’m the president for you!”
After threatening to ban The Wasted Onion’s journalists from the Oval Office if he’s elected, TallPeter inexplicably shrunk to the height of a below-average person.
Being eliminated from the race for not confirming a running mate, Elsie was seen dancing off into the sunset. Our journalists can rest now.
V1 did their duty by thanking The Only News Source for covering their campaign unlike lesser news outlets. In return we will continue to mention them, you’re welcome.
Pufferfish101007 pledged at a rally this afternoon that naughty people will be deported to the backrooms.
Shattering our reconciliation from yesterday, WannaBeRose mocked us again by saying we stink. We don’t! We smell like freshly picked roses! We’re not upset! You are!
