Daily Election Update: Today, wasteof users found out who their candidates were, what they stand for, and just how fucked they are if this is the best we’ve got.
Updates from the campaign trail:
At his first rally, Oren shared details of his plan to create a secret police that will kill anyone who causes drama on the platform, going on to claim the killings will be done by Agent 47.
Speaking on lesser news outlet CNN, Kiwi pledged free Waffle House fights live streamed from The Crack House lawn by building a Waffle House directly facing the Oval Office.
Posting on wasteof, The-Owlsss said “a vote for me is a vote and that vote can go towards me so please vote for me with your vote because you can vote for me so please vote for me.”
TallPeter has pledged at a rally that they will make users shorter than 10 feet be legally required to be chairs for other users that are taller than 10 feet.
Elsie was seen dancing to Creep by Radiohead at a 2 hour Q&A forum without uttering a word before walking off stage.
V1 has promised via a post on wasteof that they will make users “eat, sleep and shit quarters.”
Pufferfish101007 has pledged to make all wasteof users eat cat food on Mondays no matter how much they cry or plead for mercy.
SixFourLu says they will expand the nation's cheese caves into all of your available orifices.
WannaBeRose called us ugly and it didn’t hurt our feelings. Not at all! Our investors say we’re pretty!
I have agreed to be Agent 47
Fantastic, we will send a list of enemies in due course.