Official Manifesto of Promises and Stuff Part II
(not at my computer right now so I can’t do the fancy photo editing I did last time)
As your President, I’ll:
Resolve disputes on the pronunciation of “quinoa”, “caramel”, “gif”, and “soup” so the world can tackle the real issues
Feed the hungry via extremely nutritious parmesan cheese
Task the Housing department to construct the Heroin House, a new governmental building that will sit right next door to the Crack House
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Go back in time to the first Thanksgiving to get turkeys off the menu. That’s right, as your President, I’m going back in time to the first Thanksgiving to get turkeys off the menu.
Make the Wii Phone a reality
Have Secretary of State @leaks help me fix a leak in my bathroom sink
Task the Energy Department with devising a new eco-friendly energy source (I’m thinking Parmesan cheese)
SOUP!!!!!!!!!!!!