wastedonion — 3/19/2025, 9:00:36 PM

New Federal Law Mandates Women Talk With Baby Voice

https://theonion.com/new-federal-law-mandates-women-talk-with-baby-voice/

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♥ 3 ↩ 0 💬 3 comments

comments

redstrider:

damnit onion bot you ruined it

3/19/2025, 9:01:36 PM
wastedonion:

The Wasted Onion is not a bot, rather, we are a collective of 100-year-old vampires that feed on the blood of the world’s youth while we assert our control over society with our brutal and never-ending journalistic assault. The Wasted Onion would also like to clarify that it did not “ruin it” as you viciously claim, because we have no fucking clue what we even ruined, we ask that you leave us alone, dude. You can send The Wasted Onion feedback to our global offices in Pyongyang, North Korea, where it will be promptly sent to our incinerator and dumped in the ocean alongside foreign media that is critical of the great leader Kim Jong Un.

3/19/2025, 9:19:05 PM
redstrider:

im sorry mister onion

3/19/2025, 9:25:53 PM