My fellow Americans, I would like to take this moment to apologize for my misunderstanding. I mistook Auriali’s previous posts as their manifesto (I was tired), so I would like to correct my previous statement. The things Auriali has said about what they would do is likely disingenuous.

If you elect me, as I said, you will get free waffles and pancakes on Sunday, which will give you energy, which will prevent you from making the same mistake I did on this day.