I truly don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to buy a nice 20 piece McNugget. Even if you 'don’t eat fast food’, fast food is still good.

Besides, how is one serving of chicken McNuggets with some barbecue sauce going to make you instantly gain 20 pounds?

It’s just breaded chicken goodness with a side of spicy-sweet smoked barbecue sauce. It’s basically wings without the mess. According to a study done in- I’m kidding, but all that BS about the chicken nuggets not being real chicken? I don’t know how that started, but I can assure you that I’m made of 100% real chicken coming from real chickens that were really slaughtered and really cooked and really seasoned and really breaded and really fried.

Vegetarian? No problem, just stop.

Sure maybe it’s a little less healthy than some skinless white chicken, but you’re not buying chicken nuggets for skinless white chicken, you’re buying chicken nuggets for breaded chicken nuggets with sauce and that amazing McDonald’s Sprite. Skinless white chicken is the driest chicken in the whole damn world.

And you know what else McNuggets are? Popular. Make a friend with McNuggets. That guy ahead of you in the drive-thru that ordered the same 20 piece you’re about to? Follow them home. Knock on their door and force them to be friends. It works 25% of the time, and you damn know that’s better than your small talk.

Disclaimer: McDonalds takes no responsibility for assault charges or restraining orders.