“Internet Loudly Complains About Disney+ Price Increase, Proceeds To Give Them Money Anyway”
Thank you for your journalistic efforts. Now get out the way, we’re about to make it actually worth something.
“Internet Loudly Complains About Disney+ Price Increase, Proceeds To Give Them Money Anyway”
Thank you for your journalistic efforts. Now get out the way, we’re about to make it actually worth something.
“Discord makes sending messages a nitro exclusive feature”
Thank you for your contribution to our ever expanding empire comprising journalism and emerald mining manned by blind toddlers.
“LEAK: NVIDIA To Include LSD With RTX 6060 To Help Users Hallucinate Frames”
Thank you, we will use this with the utmost care, mauling it like a rabid dog with rabies.
“‘I am the Alpha. You are the Betas,’ Said the oldest Gen Alpha walking in a nursery full of Gen Beta babies”
Thank you for sharing your information with us. Now get the hell out of our offices before we call a security guard to throw you from the nearest window.
“@socialism Gets Taken To Live On A Farm Upstate”
Thank you for your news donation, we will use this to further the human race down the slippery slope of complete and utter annihilation while also modifying your idea to make it even more capable of destabilising the fragile world we live in.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/may/16/trump-tv-gameshow-citizenship-report
We’re happy to announce that we’ll be the sponsor for this wonderful and ethical new reality show.
“Leaks on Wasteof Reveals Identity, Turns Out to Be Human Being”
We shall devour this headline like a delectable cheese board alongside a fine wine while we feed you the scraps of bread we found in our bread bin. You’re welcome, no need to thank us for gracing you with our presence.
“Trump Announces 350% Tariff On All Oxygen-Breathing Taking Place Outside the United States”
Thank you for your journalistic endeavours, we’ll take it from here. And by that we mean steal your reporting, turn it into a clickbait SEO-filled shit stain of an article that is riddled with ads like a deadly venom travelling through a person’s body.
https://theonion.com/show-me-where-you-make-autism-shouts-rfk-jr-storming-sour-patch-kids-factory/
You’ll be pleased to know we have already reported this, our newsroom of sleep-deprived underpaid journalists are on the pulse at all times to give you the vital news you need when you need it: https://wasteof.money/posts/680176ea6a6594a392530755
did you see that really cool story i posted and @’ed you to
Our gang of reporters is on their way to New Mexico, or New America, or New Whatever The Fuck It’s Called At The Minute to investigate. We’ve also sent our 100 strong team of lobbyists to legalise the ability to sell heroin to the local dog population.
can you talk about the mass deportation of the wasteof discord server?
We are happy to report we just released a Special Report regarding this. Our journalism is just as fast as the Titanic sinking, but like, not as bad, hopefully.
“Trump Renames ‘Los Angeles’ To ‘The Angels’”
Thank you for your on the ground journalism. Now go forth and get shot with a rubber bullet while we take your work and make money from it in our comfy beanbag chairs in our 100 story office.