Me: *paces on screened-in back porch while being pummeled with wind and rain through the screen*

Local Weather Forecast:

!! SEVERE WEATHER WARNINGS !!

SEVERE WEATHER ADVISORY: Moderate threat, take action within next hour
TORNADO WATCH: Extreme threat, take action in near future; expires 8pm
FLOOD WATCH: Severe threat, take action in near future; expires 27.A
TROPICAL STORM WARNING: Severe threat, take immediate action

Icelandic Waters: “Playing in the gentle breeze and bouncing with the bumblebees . . .”